"Paying for purchases with Blink is a breeze. It's FAST, EASY and SECURE. It speeds up your time at checkout with no swiping necessary. Just blink and go."That’s what the cash-cats of American bank Chase say. Now you can touch your bank card or credit card to a magnetic strip reader just like we do with Oysters, and hey-presto! You’ve paid for something in the blink of an eye.
SUPERSWEET is concerned. Chase stress security, but we don’t believe them. How does it stop a dodgy tea-leaf from nicking your card and ‘touching’ it against shop ‘readers’ and buying whatever the hell they want? No signature required? No pin? Sounds fucking terrible to us. 
Imagine this, you’re walking down the street and some clever tech geek has a magnetic reader down his pants with a cash amount entered on it for 500 dollars. He bumps into you and you take no notice, but your Blink cash card has transferred a shit load of money into his pants without you even realizing. Imagine telling that to the coppers?
“Honestly constable, I didn’t pay for any dirty fishing tackle.”
And anyway, why does the world have to get itself in a damn hurry? Why doesn’t everything have to take less time than it takes a fart to escape a duck’s arse? Are we in such a bloody impatient mind-set we can’t take 5 minutes to enjoy making a shopping purchase? That is a sad life we live.
So kids, listen up, when this Blink shit hits the UK, don’t go there! Take your time, enjoy buying stuff, in fact, take a really fucking long time at the till and smile at all the impatient bastards queuing behind you. Life goes by too fast without us blinking it along.
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