Thursday, 28 January 2010

Newsletter: 27 January 2010

Dominitrix Susan Sarandon spanks of Montreal

If of Montreal's collaboration with Solange Knowles wasn't weird enough, watching the middle-aged hipster actress Susan Sarandon get her jollies from spanking of Montreals' performing pigs surely takes the biscuit. In the past year we've seen Patrick Woolf get anecdotal with Tilda Swinton, and now the Georgian band take to the stage with the ruler punishing Sarandon.

So who on earth could be next? Hot Chip and Helen Bonham Carter? Joanna Newsom and Cate Blanchett? FUCKED UP and Jeff Bridges? Actually that would be pretty sweet....

Letter of the day...

From: Marc
Subject: Looking for my 2010 queen!!

Hello my Im a sucessful business man in new york city and i just hate dating these days.. some women they just don't know how to appreciate a good man looking to chat and make friends and maybe we can meet one day and start off with a coffee!....holla back id like to know more about you!

REPLY: We're doing our best to turn the magazine into a queen. Can you wait 10 more years, Marc?

Monday, 25 January 2010

Good Shoes, Good Shoes, oh, and more Good Shoes.

Yes, Good Shoes are our BAND OF THE MONTH, but sometimes, I think our best intentions can fall into the OTT category. Though we've reached our limit of a GS's natural high it doesn't mean you can't frivolously get excited over our month of worship:

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Eeyore Vol.6

I know it's really sad to always talk about my little pony, but look how cute and how very rockandroll she is!

Now before you think I abuse my little mini, it's just me playing roly poly with her. Don't be alarmed. I love her to death!

Photography: Krittiya Sriyabhandha

Monday, 18 January 2010

Buy a Damian Hirst 'Nothing Matters' blanket for bullshit snuggles.

Featuring icons from Damien Hirst’s New Religion series and large enough for a double bed, you can dribble all over this 100% merchandised cashmere non-refundable blanket, or as we call it, a 'blankey'. Made in Scotland on a 1000 year old Jacquard loom and finished byTracy Emin's left hand. Each has a ' purled' fringe, lest we forget Hirst is immortal, and 2 New Religion labels for peace of pretentious mind.

Using techniques similar to those used 150 years ago (lazy bastards), fabric and colour are built up in layers like a jam and peanut-butter sandwich with hundred and thousands sprinkled on top, and given clarity and depth by the use of fermented bullshit, pure Scottish water (no kidding) and cloth woven from the finest of pubic fibres. Part of the finishing process involves air-drying by a flock flying beetles and paper-pressing the blankets to ensure justifying the price tag.

Perfect for cuddling up with your donner kebab while watching Gay Rabbit Chat.

Available from £975.00

* The above image is not Hirst's blanket, but a figurative abstract pictorial representation. Ahhh we need to go home and eat dinner.

Friday, 15 January 2010

I Know T-Mobile's Spawn.

Stranger things have happened than seeing an old acquaintance in a T-mobile advert. Not to this boy, and not this week. With the full video for T-mobile’s Josh’s Band being shown tonight during Channel 4’s Celeb Big Bro it got me thinking: what are the top songs from advertisements we can’t help but love?

‘Spaceman’ – Babylon Zoo

Bizarre song. Bizarre band. Bizarre man. But the nation took it to their hearts. Lets be honest now, you’d never play it at a party so why did people back then? “Spaceman/I always wanted you to go into Spaceman/Intergalactic Christ”. Christ? Bizarre. Just bizarre, but we all still bought it.

‘In The Air Tonight’ – Phil Collins

Early 2006: shall I chuck on some Phil Collins? Er…hello…anyone…
Late 2007: shall I chuck on some Phil Collins? Yeah, and lets all pretend we’re gorillas playing the drums!

Oh how things changed so quickly. Now we have to admit it was a good song after all. Or was it? It was. Or was it? It is. Or is it? It is. Cadbury’s - you are messing with our minds.

‘Mr Bombastic’ - Shaggy

If there was someone truly to blame for Shaggy it was Levi (again). An absolute nonsense of a song that is so simple it could have been written using the preset buttons on a casio keyboard. Nevertheless, a gruff man half-talking about ‘Mr Lover Lover’ still sets our heartbeats racing and gets our testosterone pumping. Try saying “Mr Row Row Romantic” without cracking a smile. I dare you.

‘Come With Me’ – Josh’s Band

And finally, the track that started this whole blog in the first place. The cynical amongst us cringe at, or even question, the premise of Josh’s Band. Was he really found on the street? Did he honestly send that text? There is no doubt that the underlying track ‘Come With Me’ is a stupidly addictive perfect little pop song. “Stay with me…da da dada da…Come with me…dum de doodle da…R-aaa-aaa-un”. Nice.

Monday, 11 January 2010

SS Role Play

Everyone I know thinks we do absolutely nothing at the SS HQ. These pictures confirm the rumour is probably true...
But what's this one?! I fell asleep while Tiffany made me check it out down there... zzz...
And what are these guys from Liars doing in exactly the same outfits??
Well... here's one clue... Keep yerr eyes wide open!

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Women bore quickly? Lynx Stinks...

Some people at SUPERSWEET are puking over Lynx, whose latest ad campaign declares that “Women are easily bored,” so men, you’d better run out and snap up the latest multi-fragranced spray in the irresistible Lynx ‘female-seductor’ range before your chick gets fickle. Which she'll undoubtedly do every 5 minutes because either she's a brainless nympho or because as a man, you're so dull and ugly there's nothing interesting about you except for the latest scent you're sporting.

Lord, have mercy on the sexist dim-witted oiks who sacrifice self-respect for sales. There’s enough of them in the world, but why not fatten the proverbial goose and stuff intelligence a bit further, hey Lynx?

The age-old question “what do women want?” can be easily answered without the need for slick packaging in a stream of deceptively innovative products that apparently aid men in pulling off our knickers. What women want is a blend of intelligent top notes combined with bottom notes of interest, passion and respect. Not chocolate and cream fights in our panty-hose.

Civilisation has been successfully mating since time began, and although Lynx smells better than sweat, what really puts us off is the stink of ignorant arrogance. Did they really think women and men alike would NOT be insulted by this base-tabloid insinuation? Perhaps Lynx should revert to its original brand name ‘Axe’ and cut off its own phallus. Cockmongers…