Monday 18 January 2010

Buy a Damian Hirst 'Nothing Matters' blanket for bullshit snuggles.

Featuring icons from Damien Hirst’s New Religion series and large enough for a double bed, you can dribble all over this 100% merchandised cashmere non-refundable blanket, or as we call it, a 'blankey'. Made in Scotland on a 1000 year old Jacquard loom and finished byTracy Emin's left hand. Each has a ' purled' fringe, lest we forget Hirst is immortal, and 2 New Religion labels for peace of pretentious mind.

Using techniques similar to those used 150 years ago (lazy bastards), fabric and colour are built up in layers like a jam and peanut-butter sandwich with hundred and thousands sprinkled on top, and given clarity and depth by the use of fermented bullshit, pure Scottish water (no kidding) and cloth woven from the finest of pubic fibres. Part of the finishing process involves air-drying by a flock flying beetles and paper-pressing the blankets to ensure justifying the price tag.

Perfect for cuddling up with your donner kebab while watching Gay Rabbit Chat.

Available from www.othercriteria.com £975.00

* The above image is not Hirst's blanket, but a figurative abstract pictorial representation. Ahhh we need to go home and eat dinner.

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